I'm jealous of the girl who lives upstairs (we live in a condo). She rarely has visitors and her car looks like it's on its last leg. She leaves for work by 7 am and usually isn't home until after 5. Definitely not things I would normally envy in a person.
But every time I see her leave the condo and dash to her car (usually in heels), I feel a bit sentimental. It's like looking through the window of my past. I think back to the old days (...last year) when I looked so carefree. She's a teacher on spring break right now, and I've seen her come and go three times today already. Once with grocery bags, another time from the gym, and the last time she had a bag of delicious takeout food--and it's only 1:30 pm! I haven't even eaten yet today and I'm still sporting my PJs (in my defense, they are cute PJs). I couldn't imagine accomplishing that much by 1:30pm and in the pouring rain, nonetheless. Oh my gosh...I hear her vacuuming now. Way to rub it in, sister!
One of the many lessons I've learned in life is the grass is always greener on the other side. She probably sees me and Justin happily toting around with Aubrey all of the time, inundated with visitors, driving around in our newer cars, and maybe she wishes for some of the blessings we have. And honestly, I would never trade places with her or with my old self. Sure, things are a LOT busier now, but my "old" life wasn't always so glamorous. I remember before I had Aubrey there were many, many days when I felt bored and would go out just to kill the time (well, that is when I finally finished my lesson plans and endless stacks of papers to grade--don't miss that!). I used to see moms with their babies and I couldn't wait until Justin and I were at that stage in our life. There was nothing I wanted more than to have a baby to share our lives with each day.
I guess I'm not jealous of the girl upstairs. I guess I'm just looking forward to the days when I can get more accomplished by noon than just brushing my teeth, making the bed, and feeding the baby. Let's be honest. Some days it's really hard and I want to pull my hair out. The baby won't stop crying or she'll need to be held allll day long. Some days I look out the window and I see the girl upstairs and I think, "Take me with you!"
But as my Grannie says, never wish your life away because you always end up wishing for it back. At some point in my life, I will look back on this stage in our lives and I will be sad because it's over. I will see a young mom with her newborn and I will feel sentimental about my "old days" with Aubrey. I will look back and wish for these precious months back again. I can always get the trips to Target and Barnes and Noble back, but I'll never get back these moments with Aubrey.
Speaking of precious moments, I hear her precious screaming bringing me back to reality. Better go make that bottle.
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