Final Thoughts--My Last Post

As Aubrey turns 1, I feel like I am ready to officially "finish" my blog. It has served its purpose for me, and I hope that it has served some purpose for other moms out there.

I started this blog for a variety reasons. I first wrote it because I was so surprised by motherhood, that I wanted to share my experiences and feelings with other new moms so they knew they weren't alone. As the months went on, I also liked the idea of having a documentation of Aubrey's first year-for both her and for me. It will be really entertaining to go back and read my experiences as a new mom with Aubrey when she is older. And lastly, blogging has been very cathartic for me. I've always expressed my thoughts and feeling through writing, and the blog gave me another means besides journaling to do that. It's a lot faster to type than it is to write!

Some final thoughts for my last post. Obviously, those thoughts will be about my baby girl, Aubrey, since it's the eve of her first birthday. For the last few days, I have been replaying all of the details of this time last year in my head. My mom and I going to my doctor's appointment where he said, "It's time to go the hospital", me telling my mom that I guess it's too late to change my mind, eating a "last" meal at Scotto’s pizza (broccoli pizza with ricotta, a breadstick, and a huge Coke), calling my husband and him not answering (don't worry, he called me back right away!), being induced and having to wait forever for contractions to start, screaming for an epidural when they did start, pushing for 35 minutes and thinking I was going to die right then and there, and the biggest moment of all...seeing Aubrey-healthy, beautiful, perfect. Exhaustion, relief, joy, and love all rolled into one big feeling.

As all moms know, you can't put into words the love you feel for your baby. What has been even more surprising to me is that my love for her triples every single day. My real life started on December 8, 2009 at 7:12pm. From that moment on, I finally felt a true sense of purpose and joy. Everything in my life is better because of Aubrey. Having a child gives you hope, joy, and a profound love that you've never felt before. It's 100 times more challenging than I thought it would be, but honest to God, it is 100 times better than I thought it would be.

Thank you all for reading my blog, commenting, voting, and your support since I've started. Good luck on your journeys as moms, and maybe I'll be back when #2 comes along! (That is NOT a pregnancy announcement!)

I Finally got to Make my Christmas Cookies

Last November, I was delusional. I'm not sure if I ever told this story on my blog before, so I apologize if you've already heard this.

As I said, it was last November. My mom and I were sitting on my couch, a few weeks before my December 3rd due date. I gazed starry eyed across the room and excitedly proclaimed, “I can’t wait until the baby is born! It will be so great to have a baby at Christmas time! I’ll bake chocolate chip cookies and decorate and watch Christmas movies while she sleeps. Maybe she can even go shopping with me. I can’t wait!” My mom gently smiled and softly shook her head, “Oh, Christie... I wouldn’t plan on it. Having a newborn may not be exactly as you envision it."

I felt like a seventeen year old who was just told, “Oh, wait until you get to the real world." I convinced myself that my mom (a woman with three kids and thirty years of parenting experience) had no idea what she was talking about. My experience would be different.

Well, my mom was BEYOND right. Last December I averaged 2-3 hours of sleep a night. Aubrey's naps ranged from 15 minutes to an hour, and they weren't very often. When I did have a spare 45 minutes, I certainly wasn't whipping up Christmas cookies. I was in such a fog all month that I probably would have forgot the oven was on and burnt the house down.

Well, I am happy to say, that THIS year, I finally got what I had envisioned. I just finished my first batch of Christmas cookies while Aubrey napped (because now she actually naps for 2 hours, instead of twenty minutes) and Aubrey and I have been shopping together all week as we drive around listening to Christmas music. My house is decorated and we even put lights up outside this year. I am in SUPER Christmas spirit mode this year, because I feel like I missed out on Christmas last year.

This time last year I had no idea what I was in for with a newborn baby. I had no idea that the first four weeks of motherhood would be the most difficult four weeks of her first year. The December ’09 “fog” feels like it was years ago, and I am so happy to be able to enjoy the holidays in full force again—with plenty of sleep and plenty of Christmas cookies 

Get me out of here!

Paris, New York, London, Milan--we have a problem. As much as my daughter loves looking at herself in her latest fashions, she HATES clothing stores. WHAT?!

And it's not just clothing stores. It's any section of a store that has clothes in it. She loves Target, but the second we go into the clothes section, she screams her head off. Carters? Children's Place? Baby Gap? Babies R Us? FORGET IT. She has had temper tantrums in these stores (more than once) which included ripping clothes off the racks and flinging them across the aisle. When I try to hold her, she wiggles and squirms so violently that I'm afraid she's gonna fly herself out of my arms and onto the floor. Somehow she has already learned that if she acts like a crazy lunatic, her mommy will frantically run to the nearest exit.

After many attempts to take her clothes shopping, I've realized that it’s just not happening--yet. I'm hoping she will grow out of this phase and will be ready to shop til she drops by the time spring comes around. When I was pregnant, I had visions of going out shopping with Aubrey, but as long as these tantrums keep up, it looks like I'll be shopping for her the same way I shop for myself--online!

The Trade Off

I'm learning that sometimes a mess is worth the time it takes to clean it up. Aubrey loves getting into things. She loves to open the nightstand by my bed and rip everything out. We joke and call her "Hurricane Aubrey", because after she's done with a drawer or cabinet it looks like a hurricane hit. I should also mention that my nightstand is where I hide everything that I don't know what to do with. For example, old receipts, playing cards, chargers, boxes of check books, etc. So, she has plenty of things to scatter all over the floor and entertain herself with for quite a good amount of time.

Hurricane Aubrey used to bother me. I would say, "NO!" and pull her away from the nightstand or drawer (whatever room she was in at the time). Then one day, I really needed to get ready so I could leave the house early. Her toys just weren't keeping her entertained. So, I let her tear apart my nightstand. For THIRTY MINUTES she sat and played! I was right near her getting ready, and she didn't even fuss once for my attention.

After this experience, I realized that sometimes the mess is worth the five minutes it will take to clean up after she's done. If it buys me a half hour to get ready, I don't care what she tears apart! Now I’m not trying to be clever, but I really do need to go clean up the mess she made in my bedroom this morning before naptime ends!

My Little Teenager

So I know people warned me that the first year of motherhood would fly by, but I had no idea that by 11 months my daughter would be acting like a teenager.


Let me start by saying that for the last couple of weeks, Aubrey has really loved wearing her headbands and sunglasses. She takes them out of the drawer herself, and even tries to put them on. So today she was hanging out in her bedroom, rockin out to Isty Bitsy Spider (the girl can dance), wearing her Dora shades and fancy headband. She also happened to be holding my cell phone. Then she started walking across the bedroom floor (yes, she is walking now!) in her little black leggings, hot pink baby UGGs (actually they are TUGGs, Target brand UGGs...), holding the cell phone up to her ear, chatting away. She seriously looked like a little mini 15 year old. She even bitched at me when I took the phone away!

Before I had a baby, I didn't have any idea of just how big the personalities of almost-1-year olds were. I figured they still were very “baby” like and only did things like try to walk and say “mama” and “da-da”. This girl has got sass, a love for electronics, an eye for fashion, and she does not like "no" for an answer. I don't know about you, but that sounds like a teenager to me! Perhaps she is already going through the teenage phase, and she will be a mature, beyond her years, 15 year old instead? Ah, I can dream.

Recharging Your Battery

I think I am very lucky that I am surrounded by people who allow me the time I need to recharge my batteries. My mom is always around when I need her, and my husband never puts up a fight if I want some time alone.

This past weekend, I went up to Connecticut to visit one of my best friends (and mom to be!) while my husband stayed home with Aubrey. God bless him, he even conquered the grocery store and got all but one item on my very long list! Of course I missed Aubrey from the second I walked out the front door, but I knew that my trip to Connecticut was worth it. Not only did I get to spend two days with my friend Michelle (doing nothing but shopping, talking, and eating--woo hoo!), but when I came home yesterday I felt like I had just had a two week vacation.

I've written a lot on my blog about how much I treasure date nights or "me" time, and the reason is because it makes me a better person and a better mom. When I get opportunities to "recharge my battery", I always come home happier and more energized. Nine out of ten days with Aubrey are so much fun and I enjoy every second with her. But for that one day out of ten that makes me want to run for the hills, knowing I have a date night or alone time helps me to get through it with my sanity still intact!

I know that if I have another baby it will be harder to get this time alone, so for now I am going to take advantage of it and savor every quiet second!

Miss Independent

Aubrey and I spent the morning at the library for Moms group. It was also the library's song/story time, so it was quite busy in there (I felt bad for the poor folks who thought they were going to have a quiet morning at the library!). Before I go on, let me just say that my library has the BEST kid's section. It's insane. You could spend hours there and not get bored. Toys and tunnels, blocks and games, computers and books (although, the books are the most unpopular option in the kid's section!), there is something for everyone. It's especially entertaining because you are in a room full of other moms and kids. If any of you moms out there are looking for a way to kill a morning or an afternoon, check out your local library!

Anyway, after the stories and songs they opened up the room for open play. I was sitting on one of the chairs talking with a couple of other moms, and when I let Aubrey down to go play, I assumed I would be chasing after her the whole time. Much to my pleasant surprise, I sat and talked with the other moms for 15 minutes while Aubrey made her way around the room playing with all the toys. I don't think she even looked at me once, but more importantly, I didn't have to GET UP once. YES! It was awesome.

Eventually we had to leave the private room (the one they use for classes), and play in the main kid’s area. Unlike the private room, there were no walls keeping her contained, so she was free to roam. And roam she did. I was actually sweating after awhile from chasing her so much. I don't mind her being on her own (when she's in my sight of course), but when she is trying to climb up rocking chairs and attempting to rip up library books, I feel that's the time to go chase after her.

Despite the sweating and constant chasing, our trip to the library made me really happy today for various reasons. For one, it counts as my exercise for the day. If I break a sweat, that is exercise. Secondly, I got to know some more moms in my group. Sometimes you don't realize how nice it is to have other "mom" friends until you get to know other moms. It's so nice to talk to other women who understand exactly what you're going through. We were talking about naps today, and one very new mom said, "Sometimes when I hear him wake up from his nap, it makes my stomach sick because I still need a break." How great it was for her to be able to say that, and not be judged, but instead have a room full of other moms say, "Girl, we know EXACTLY how you feel."

And lastly, the trip today made me happy because Aubrey loved it so much. I got to watch her play, and I saw how independent she really is. Even though she spends every waking minute with me, she didn't even blink when I was out of her sight, and she was surrounded by strangers. She was off and running, "chatting" with other moms and babies. She was playing with other kids as if she's known them for years months.

As I watched her from a distance, she never once stopped to look for me. You may think this would make me sad, but it made me so happy to know that she feels safe in her world and that she’s not afraid to explore or be away from Mommy. It's been a crazy 11 months, but today made me feel like I must be doing something right.

Hallo-weekend!

Aubrey's 10 months old now and she's experienced a lot of "1st" holidays. However, it's not until now that I feel like she will really get to enjoy and experience a 1st holiday...Halloween!

Aubrey got jipped with her 1st Christmas. She was only 2 weeks old and her parents were more like walking zombies than cheerful elves. Being 4 months old at Easter was a bit more exciting, but not by much. After all, she had to get all dressed up and didn’t even get to eat any of her candy! As for the 4th of July, she was passed out sleeping by the time any fireworks went off. Now that Halloween is right around the corner, I am so excited because she will actually get to enjoy and experience the holiday.

Tomorrow morning I am taking her back to my old work to see all the kids dressed in their costumes, parading around the school. Aubrey loves kids, and she especially loves silly, loud kids! I know she will get a kick out of seeing all the kids dressed up tomorrow, and I am really looking forward to seeing my old colleagues and students. On Saturday morning, she will be dressed up in her ADORABLE ladybug costume (homemade by Grammie) and she will be strolling around in the Mount Laurel Halloween Parade. Her Halloween fun will continue on Sunday afternoon when she goes trick or treating for the first time! We are taking her trick or treating partly because she loves people and will love seeing all the new faces, but mostly because we get to eat all her candy. Just kidding. Well, not really. I am really excited about trick or treating after a 15 year hiatus!

I can't wait for our fun-filled Hallo-weekend to begin. It's just the start of all the fun holiday memories ahead of us :)

To All You Mean Moms

I was reading in What to Expect the 1st Year (even though my doctor told me to not read this anymore, it will just make me paranoid) that by the age of 10 months, babies know what "NO" means. They will start to test your limits and see how far they can push the boundaries.

I thought this was hogwash until I noticed that my precious little baby girl is already purposely defying and manipulating me! For example, if I say "No" sternly and move her away from a dangerous object (that she was trying to eat), she crawls right back to it, turns her head to look at me, and then gets a devilish little grin. She stares at me and waits to see what I'm going to do. She then grabs the object again. This cycle repeats over and over. It also happened today when she bit me! I screamed when she bit my arm and I guess she loved the reaction, because she did it again and started cracking up laughing. Oh boy.

All of these little instances got me thinking about discipline and how important setting boundaries and being consistent are when raising a child. I learned that lesson very early on as a teacher, and I certainly plan on using the same philosophy in my parenting.

I came across this poem online about "Mean Moms", and it really hits the nail on the head when it comes to "tough love". This poem reminded me a lot about how my parents raised us, and I am thankful for it now.

To all you Mean Moms (and Dads!)...

Someday when my children are old enough to understand the logic
that motivates a parent, I will tell them:

I loved you enough... to ask where you were going, with whom,
and what time you would be home.

I loved you enough... to insist that you save your money and buy a bike for yourself even though we could afford to buy one for you.

I loved you enough... to be silent and let you discover that your new best friend was a creep.

I loved you enough... to make you go pay for the bubble gum you had taken and tell the clerk, "I stole this yesterday and want to pay for it."

I loved you enough... to stand over you for two hours while you cleaned your room, a job that should have taken 15 minutes.

I loved you enough... to let you see anger, disappointment and tears in my eyes. Children must learn that their parents aren't perfect.

I loved you enough... to let you assume the responsibility for your actions even when the penalties were so harsh they almost broke my heart.

But most of all, I loved you enough... to say NO when I knew you would hate me for it. Those were the most difficult battles of all. I'm glad I won them, because in the end you won too.






--

Join a Moms Group? Check!

Well, I can check another item off of my 10 Things I Must Do by 30 post from a few months back. I have finally found a Moms group in my area to be a part of. Yay!

I have to admit, I almost backed out of going to the play date today. I had no reason to want to back out. All the moms live within 5 minutes of my house, they all have young children, there are a TON of activities we can attend (for free!), they have Mom's night out each month, the group notifies you of all the fun township activities going on, and they also have a lot of great service opportunities (such as food and clothing drives and bringing meals to new moms).

I don't know if I was afraid of meeting new people (what if they are all mean and judgmental?!) or if it was the thought of committing to something, but luckily I decided that if I want to improve my day to day life, I have to do DIFFERENT things. Your life doesn't just change by sitting around the house hoping for something to happen.

Luckily, I defeated my stagnant mentality and took Aubrey to the playgroup today...and of course, it was a great time! She got to play with (well, more like watch) other kids and try out some new toys. Her favorite was the huge moon bounce that I thought people only rented for birthday parties. Apparently, people own them. Well, Aubrey LOVED it. Are you surprised? A device where she can just sit and bounce for as long as she wants? It's a 10 month old’s dream! I also got to meet some other moms in my town--and none of them were mean or judgmental like I feared (obviously), haha.

I really hope that joining this group is the start of a fun new phase for me and Aubrey. It's all what you make of it, and I plan on making the most of it!

Thanks Mom!

As I write this, it's almost 1:00 on Sunday afternoon. I've spent the last 20 hours baby free (thanks to my mom), celebrating my 3 year wedding anniversary with my husband. Well, I guess I wouldn't count grocery shopping this morning as celebrating, but knowing that I could peruse the aisles (do I want the 16 oz salad dressing on the 24 oz? hmmm….) and not have to worry about Aubrey losing it was good enough for me! Last night we had a delicious dinner and then went bowling. Bowling for an anniversary? Yes! I've been begging Justin for a few years now to go bowling. I don't know why I love it so much--I'm really, really bad (even with bumpers). Nonetheless, we finally went bowling and we were home in time to watch the Phillies game. Total bummer that they lost, but it was still fun getting to watch the game with the tv blasting and being able to scream (in both celebration and in anger), without having to worry about waking Aubrey.

So that was our night without the baby, but I'm writing today's post for my mom, because I am so grateful for everything she has done to make sure Justin and I still have time to ourselves. At least once a month she takes Aubrey overnight (staying out late is much more fun when you know there is no 7am wakeup call!), and she also watches Aubrey at other times as well. Just the other day she took Aubrey from 6am til 5pm so Justin and I could spend the day in NYC. About two weeks ago she watched Aubrey so I could go shopping for clothes that don't fall under the "sweats" category. She is always happy to watch her, and she has even rearranged her work schedule at times to be able to help us out. I am so grateful that I have a mom that loves being with Aubrey as much as I do, because Lord knows I appreciate-and need- the "breaks". I don't know what I'd do without her.

Thanks Mom for all your help with Aubrey, I wish I could do more for you than just say thank you, but I am still waiting on that lottery win (or book deal).

10 Months and She's Hooked on Chocolate

This morning I was thoroughly enjoying and taking full advantage of having a calm morning. Aubrey was in a chill mood; one of those moods where she can sit in the same place and do the same thing for 20 minutes. I love those moods! So, I went into the kitchen with her and started doing some things like prepping her fruits/veggies for later on and wiping down my appliances.

At one point, I opened the refrigerator door and Aubrey spotted a bunch of fun size Kit Kats. She grabbed all the Kit Kats from the fridge(they were still wrapped, of course), and since they are too large for her to put in her mouth and choke, I let her play with them on the floor. She was having fun sitting on the floor banging them together, hitting the fridge with them, just playing nicely by herself. I knew that would keep her occupied long enough for me to finish what I was doing.

Then as I was chopping up some carrots, I noticed that the banging and noises had stopped, and she was being quite quiet...too quiet. I could see her from the corner of my eye sitting on the floor, but I noticed her back was now turned to me. When I walked over to see what she was up to, she looked up at me, chocolate covering her lips, sucking the life out of the (now opened) Kit Kat bar! Apparently, she had cut through the wrapper with her teeth and was now sneakily enjoying her first piece of chocolate!

I couldn't help but laugh when I saw her. She must have known she was doing something wrong, because she was smart enough to be very quiet and have her backed turned to me. Naturally, I took the Kit Kat bar away from her, and being a true girl at heart, she screamed bloody murder. I just hope I will still be able to get her to eat her apples now that she's had a taste of the good life :)

It's a Birthday Party, Not a Wedding Reception

My sister is not one to dish out advice. She listens, but mostly keeps her opinions to herself. My sister and I were talking, and I told her how I had been stressing over what to do about Aubrey's 1st Birthday. In an ideal world, I'd have a big house that could handle a first birthday party. In a semi-ideal world, I'd at least have enough money to rent a hall to throw the party (who knew that halls cost $500!). Unfortunately, neither of these situations reflects my life situation right now.

So I was telling my sister how bad I felt because I couldn't throw a big shindig for Aubrey's birthday, and she said to me, "It's a birthday party, not a wedding reception". For some reason, those words really resonated with me. As I was googling first birthdays, I could not believe my eyes at how carried away you can let yourself get. From $100 invitations to gourmet cupcakes, you can spend a fortune on your child’s 1st birthday.

I would never judge someone who threw a huge party, because truth be told, if I had the bank account to have a big bash I would love to! But in MY life situation, I was trying to plan a party that I simply could not afford. My sister's words helped me to remember that it's okay not to have a huge party with a fancy cake, catered food, and a 75 person guest list...it's a birthday party, not a wedding reception.

In the end, we decided that we will just invite our family and have it at my mom's. The house will be filled with people who love Aubrey, and she will have so much fun seeing and playing with all of her family. We'll have all of the 1st birthday staples—things such as party hats, balloons, and a yummy cake. But I won't miss a mortgage payment trying to keep up with the Joneses.

As I shop for the birthday necessities, I will remember the mantra, "it's a birthday, not a wedding reception" when I am tempted to buy something that just isn't in my budget. Besides, I only have 15 more years until Aubrey starts hitting me up for some outrageous sweet sixteen party, and I have a feeling my mantra won’t hold up as well in an argument with a 15 year old!

The Top 10 at 10

My little newborn had her 10 month "birthday" yesterday...10 months! She's practically not even an infant anymore. She's been standing by herself more and more lately, and I know it's just a matter of time before she's walking. I don't miss that young newborn stage; it was probably the craziest three months of my life! But I am in shock that in two months, she will be a year old. This year really is flying by, but it just keeps getting better and better.

For Aubrey's 10 month "birthday", here are my Top 10 Favorite Things about Aubrey at 10 months:

1. She laughs at everything, and I mean everything...she has such an awesome sense of humor.

2. She always smiles and waves at people in stores, causing the cutest little scene.

3. The way she rubs her face against anything soft, so cute!

4. When she wants me to read to her, she picks up a book, drags it over to me, and then sits in my lap. Such an advanced child ;)

5. When she hears something loud (like the vacuum), she comes crawling up to me super fast and snuggles against my chest.

6. There is a train that runs along the top of the ceiling in Wegmans. Whenever we are food shopping, she stares up waiting for that train to come. As soon as she sees it, she starts laughing and jumping up and down in her seat.

7. Aubrey can stare out the screen door for endless amounts of time watching the squirrels play with each other. Likewise, she loves being outdoors-she would stroll around outside and stare at squirrels all day if we could!

8. When Daddy leaves for work, she crawls over to the screen door, she smiles real big, and waves bye-bye until he drives away.

9. She loves looking at pictures of family and friends. She points to the people she knows in the pictures and screams with excitement.

10. Aubrey has favorite commercials, usually ones that have a catchy jingle. When she hears one of her favorites come on (the Friendly's commercial, HH Greg, AT&T- just to name a few), she stops in her tracks and stares at the tv.

11. (sneaking in an extra!) When you ask Aubrey to give you something, she holds out the object as if she were going to hand it over, then swipes it back once you reach for it. All while laughing at you, of course  What a little sneak!

12. Ok just one more, I promise. After she wakes up from a nap, she doesn’t want to come out of her crib right away. When you go in her room to get her, she races around her crib and plays, daring you to try to get her. She even tries to hide by putting her head in the corner of the crib against the bumper!

I could list so many more things! This is such a cute age, and I just don't ever want to forget these little moments with her that are so precious.

Very excited to be 10 months old!




Who knew a diaper box could be so fun?

Personal Day!

Yesterday couldn't have come at a better time. Monday and Tuesday were really tough days with Aubrey. Come to find out, she had a bad stomach bug. You DO NOT want to know how I figured this out. Let's just say it involved a crib (and baby) completely covered with poop. One of the only things that got me through Tuesday was knowing that Wednesday my mom was coming over to watch Aubrey so I could go out all afternoon, by myself. Call it a Mom's "personal day", if you will.

My first stop was to Babies R Us. My mom tried to stop me from going there, since I was supposed to be out shopping for myself, but I had to go. Aubrey needed some new pjs and I had a gift card that I intended on using for a diaper bag. That counts as shopping for me, right? I don’t know what else I was expecting, but every where I turned I saw a pregnant woman or mom with a baby. Instead of rejoicing in my freedom of being childless for the day, I found myself thinking, "Awww, I wish I was pregnant again and registering" or "Awww, I wish I was pushing my cute little baby girl in a cart and chatting with her". Completely forgetting how just last week I WAS there with Aubrey, and it was not so pleasant. She screamed the whole time-hence the reason I was back there a week later.

So then it was off to the mall to buy myself some clothes, yipee! I had some birthday money to spend and considering that every time I go to the mall with Aubrey I see thousands of things that I want, I figured I would be in my glory. I had money in my pocket, coke in hand, and no baby stopping me from trying on all the clothes I want. Funny thing happened though. I went from store to store and tried on NOTHING. Nothing caught my eye, and I felt like I needed (well, wanted) so much stuff I didn't even know where to start. Feeling defeated, I left the mall, money still in my pocket, tempted to just go to Carters and buy a bunch of baby clothes. Just to be safe, I avoided passing Carters on the ride home.

I called my mom and even though it was getting late, she encouraged me to keep shopping and I would find some stuff. I eventually found my inner shopping bug again and bought myself some nice fall sweaters and boots, but not without every mom's least favorite accessory--guilt :( Even though it was my birthday money, I still felt like I should be spending it on Aubrey!

Guilt aside, it was a GREAT DAY! 4 hours of driving and shopping on my own terms, no distractions, free to take my time and only think of (gasp!) myself! Of all my birthday gifts this year, 4 hours alone surely takes the cake. Even if I had come home empty-handed, it still would have been well worth the time alone. Thanks ma!

The Hard Days

Things with Aubrey have definitely gotten easier as time has gone by. She has her nice, predictable schedule, we are getting to really know each other, and she is just so much more fun than she was at 3 months. I've gotten used to the changes I've had to make as a stay at home mom...I don't always get to shower or eat lunch or get the things on my list done that I want to get done, but I really am fine with all that.

Then, there are days like TODAY. Hard days. Days when the fussiness starts at 8am. Days when she just does not want to nap or be happy. Days when she wants to get into EVERYTHING and even a trip to Target doesn't hold her attention. Days when I know she's not teething, but I give her baby Orajel anyway, hoping maybe she is teething and this will make her happy again. Days when I envy the celebrities who can afford nannies to watch their baby on the hard days so they can escape and go shopping or to the gym. Or out for a margarita. No nanny for me, I am the nanny. Even with my makeup on, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror today and thought, "AHH!" I looked like I just ran a marathon. I FELT like I just ran a marathon.

4:15pm hit and I was running on fumes. So I picked up Aubrey and said, "Sorry girl, I need 15 minutes" and I put her in her crib. I heard her make some yells for me, but I needed a breather. And the poor dog needed to go for a walk. After ten minutes, her room was silent. She was asleep. Looks like I wasn't the only one who needed a rest!

Lesson learned: If Aubrey is so fussy that I can no longer keep up with her, chances are she is just as tired as I am.

Today was rough, but I’ll take it. You gotta take the good with bad. I just hope we are back to the good tomorrow!

My New Nutritionist

I have a new rule to help me eat healthier snacks(meaning more fruits and veggies, less chocolate and ice cream). If Aubrey is eating it, I have to eat it.

I was walking through the grocery store with my cart loaded with healthy stuff, and I thought how if someone looked in my cart they would probably assume I was quite healthy. Unfortunately, I am more likely to snack on Cheez- Its or Mike and Ikes when hungry strikes, as opposed to an apple or carrot sticks. However when Aubrey is ready for a snack, I take plenty of time chopping up fresh fruits and preparing veggies for her. I am really not being fair to myself! I should take care of myself as well as I take care of her.

So, my new rule is if she's eating it, I must eat it. Even if I don't like it. Like bananas-gross. I only like bananas if they are on top of ice cream or in the form of tasty banana nut bread. But, if she's eating them, I will eat them- plain. If she's eating peas and carrots, I will make myself eat peas and carrots.

So far my plan is working pretty well. It's a gradual process, but I know that I have to be a healthy example for her. If she grows up watching me eat healthy foods, she will be more likely to pick up those habits. If she sees me eating junk all the time, chances are she will eat the junk too. This is one of the best parts of being a parent-when you have a child, it automatically flips a switch in you that MAKES you want to do better and be better in every part of your life.

Thanks Aubrey! Don't worry, we'll still sip on Cokes and munch on fries when you're older, but just as a treat, not as a habit :)

Last Minute Weekend Plans for South Jersey Moms!

So, I'm a little late getting this post out there, BUT if you are a reader who lives in my area (which I know many of you are), I have a great opportunity for you this weekend. And chances are, you are already heading to the mall anyway (I know I will be, thanks to the $25 gift card I received for promoting this fun event for the team at Everywhere!).

The Rockettes are coming to Macy's at the Cherry Hill Mall this weekend! Not only will you and your children be able to meet The Rockettes, but your little ones will also be able to receive dance instruction! There will be plenty of photo ops and each young dancer who participates will receive an “Honorary Rockette” certificate! Sorry Moms, our honorary Rockette days have long passed, haha. Can you imagine how fun and exciting this will be for your kids? They'll be the center of attention Monday morning during "Share Time" in school :)

This is a FREE event and takes place THIS Saturday at 2pm at Macy's in the Cherry Hill Mall. If you can't make that event, the Rockettes will be back in New Jersey on October 16th at Macy's in Bridgewater for a similar demonstration.

This is a once in a lifetime event for your kiddos, and something they will never forget. I hope you get a chance to get out to the Cherry Hill Mall and see the Rockettes. What a great way to "kick" off the fall season.

What Do You Wish You'd Known at 13?

Imagine a world...

…where every girl grows up with the self-esteem she needs to reach her full potential.
…where every woman enjoys feeling confident in her own beauty.
…where we all help to build self-esteem in the people we love most.

It would be wonderful, wouldn't it? These are the inspiring words behind Dove's Self-Esteem Movement.

I don't usually do many reviews, but when Dove contacted me about spreading the word for their campaign, I couldn't refuse. I think that self-esteem is such an important issue facing women and girls today. It is my belief, as a woman and mother, that it is our responsibility to give our daughters the love and support they need to reach their full potential.

Visit their website to find out how YOU can be a part of this movement. One of the many ways to get involved includes having conversations with girls and women of all ages about self-esteem. One conversation starter is, What do you wish you'd known at 13?

If I could talk to my 13 year old self, I would tell myself to never hold back who I really am to try to fit in. In the real world, how popular you are in high school means NOTHING. I would tell myself that as it turns out, ALL 13 year olds have the same worries and insecurities as me, and although things may get harder before they get easier, I WILL look back at my teenage years and laugh at how silly it all seems now. And oh yeah, I would tell myself to stop liking that boy that doesn't give me the time of day, because he is NOT worth one second of my time!

So, what do you wish you'd known at 13? Please leave a comment, I'd love to know!

Here is a link to find some more conversation starters and activities that you can do with an important female in your life, whether it be your daughter, niece, sister, or friend.

At the Dove Self-Esteem Movement website ,you can find more information about their Dove Self-Esteem Weekend, October 22-24. Please check it out. You can make such a difference in a girl's life by just taking out a little bit of time each day.

Oopsie

Recently, I blogged about how saddened I am by people's lack of manners. Particularly in scenarios when I am trying to squeeze through a door with a stroller and twenty other things. All I ask is for a simple door hold!

Yesterday Aubrey and I went to the mall to find me something cute to wear for my big birthday night out this weekend. As we were approaching the entrance to Macy's, I noticed a little old lady waiting by the curb. Surely, I did not expect her to hold the door open for us. To be honest, I don't think she could have made it to the door without some help herself. She gets a free pass.

However, I did expect the young man I saw standing on the other side of the doors to help me out. As I got closer to the doors, I noticed he wasn't making any effort to approach the door and hold it open for me. I thought to myself, "Typical. He's just standing there waiting for someone and he can't take two steps towards the door and open it for a woman with a stroller? I know he's young and able because he's dressed young and stylish. Oh well, I will just open the doors myself and make sure I give him a 'Thanks a lot, buddy' look once we get in the store."

As I pulled Aubrey's stroller through the second set of doors, I glanced up to get a look at the guy who couldn't help a momma out. Yeeeeah, there was a pretty good reason why he didn't help me...he was a mannequin. Oops.

I Wish I was 7 Months Pregnant Right Now

But totally not for any of the reasons you are probably thinking. I'm definitely not ready for another baby, and I certainly don't miss the giant belly that prohibited me from doing simple tasks like bending over, sleeping, and even breathing.

No, I wish I was pregnant because I had the cutest maternity clothes last year! And since I was working, I had a great mix of stylish, trendy, and fashionable clothes. Not to mention comfortable...elastic waistbands on jeans? Who knew they'd be so cozy, yet look so chic! From leggings and tunics to adorable dresses with flats, I was dressed to the nines.

But, now that it's fall and I'm taking inventory of what I have to work with this year, I am left looking at a depleted wardrobe of "regular sized" clothes that hasn't been replenished since 2008. All of the lovely clothes I bought last year were for a woman who was working full time and was 6-9 months pregnant.

Since I am low on funds this year and not working full time, I don't really have a NEED to go out and buy a new wardrobe like I've done every year in the past. I'm sure I'll pick up a few new things here and there, but I am pretty much stuck with what I've got (Aubrey, on the other hand, will be decked out in the latest baby fashions!). So, as I disappointedly look at the tired, worn out clothes from my '08 fall wardrobe which will also sadly be my '10 fall wardrobe, I find myself wishing that I was 7 months pregnant again...but just for the clothes.

Why do We Bother Buying Toys?

I KNOW I'm not alone when I say that Aubrey would much rather play with household items than with her clean, bright, child safe, developmentally appropriate toys. However, I still get lured into buying a new toy in the store because I think to myself, "THIS WILL BE THE ONE! This will be the toy that Aubrey loves so much that she will actually prefer it over the dog's food bowl!" Usually she does love the toy. But the love affair lasts about 1 minute 30 seconds and then it's back to the dog bowls.

Here are Aubrey's favorite "toys":

1. Dog bowls
2. Electrical cords
3. Magazines (that she loves to tear into pieces)
4. Anything on a shelf that can be pulled off. This includes (but is not limited to) lamps, picture frames, photo albums, and cans of open soda.
5. Pillows...that she likes to bury her face and drool in.
6. The glass sliding door and everything dangerous that comes with it.
7. Spatulas
8. Electrical cords. Yes, I know I already said this one. But she goes after so many cords in any given day that I thought it warranted two spots on the list.
9. Strings, tags, ties, etc.
10. Shoes/flip flops. As in she likes to flip them over and lick the sole before I notice.
11. Remote controls. Her favorite thing to do is hold down the volume up button and let the tv get extraordinary loud.
12. Laundry that has already been folded. Meaning that she likes to "de-fold" the laundry for me. Aw, mommy's little "helper" :)
13. KEYS. She turns into a 2 year old and throws a temper tantrum when I take them away from her.
14. Sunglasses. She refuses to wear them, but she likes to rip mine off my face and threaten to poke her eyes out with them.
15. Playing cards. She hasn't mastered poker yet, but she has mastered bending/chewing on every card in the deck. Although, the cards are pretty sturdy and they keep her entertained for quite a while!
16. The dog's dirty, slimy toys. Poor dog--she actually waits when Aubrey picks up her bone, thinking that Aubrey is going to toss it to her!
17. Insert any other thing in the house she shouldn't be playing with here. If it's off limits, she wants it.

Quote Time!

When I was in college, I was the queen of quotes. Anyone who had me on their AIM buddy list can attest to that. My AIM profile and away message were filled with quotes regarding whatever drama was going on in my life during that particular hour.

Whenever I came across a quote I liked, I typed it up on a file that I appropriately named, "Quotes". I recently came across a hard copy of these quotes and it was pretty fun to revisit my college days through quotes from various people such as Cher, Shakespeare, Mark Twain, Woody Allen, Katherine Hepburn, even a quote from Gilmore Girls (loved that show back then!).

It got me thinking to look up some parenting quotes, just for fun. Here are some of my favorite parenting quotes that I came across. Some I can relate to, some I can understand how others can relate to, and some are just plain old funny :)

“It is not a bad thing that children should occasionally, and politely, put parents in their place.” -Sidonie Gabrielle Colette. Amen sister...especially when the "children" are adults!

“I've noticed that one thing about parents is that no matter what stage your child is in, the parents who have older children always tell you the next stage is worse.” -Dave Barry. I can TOTALLY relate to this one!

"All good qualities in a child are the result of environment, while all the bad ones are the result of poor heredity on the side of the other parent” -Elinor Smith. You mean this isn't a legitimate way of thinking...??

“Parents who are afraid to put their foot down usually have children who step on their toes” -Chinese Proverb. I will recite this mantra continuously during Aubrey's teenage years...

“Listening to parents' advice is sort of like watching commercials. You know what's coming, you've heard it all before, it's a big bore, but you listen anyway”

"The real menace in dealing with a five year old is that in no time at all you begin to sound like a five year old." Jean Kerr. I can relate to this from when I taught 1st graders. My vocabulary shifted from pretty good, to using words that had 4 letters or less.

"Parents are not interested in justice, they're interested in peace and quiet." Bill Cosby. And I can relate to this one from when I taught middle-schoolers. Many of times I would find myself saying, "I don't care what she said, this happens every day with you two! Sit down and do your work!"

Hope you enjoyed the quotes. I could've added so many more, but it's fastly approaching 10pm and I am exhausted!

Would it Really be so Bad if Aubrey Just Drank Formula for the Rest of Her Life?

Well, according to Giselle Bundchen, I've already poisoned my child for life by feeding her formula. But that's for another day.

Lately, I've been giving Aubrey more and more finger food. I started out just giving her the Gerber Graduates, but as of late I've been venturing into more dangerous exciting things like fruit, veggies, pasta noodles, etc.

THIS IS THE SCARIEST PART OF MOTHERHOOD YET!

Every time that girl puts something in her mouth, I can't help but intently stare at her in fear that she may choke. Perhaps this fear stems from when my mom insisted Aubrey could eat a Cheerio and she CHOKED on it. As in she wasn't making noise, mouth wide open, eyes popping out of her head, CHOKING. In my mom's defense, she did know to flip Aubrey over and hit her back to make the Cheerio fall out. Nonetheless, I have been traumatized by this! Nothing personal, Mom :)

Anyway, even with the foods that "dissolve" in the mouth or that I chop in pieces so small that Aubrey can't even pick them up, I still worry she will choke. It doesn't help that she often makes funny noises when tasting or swallowing them. Of course this sends me straight into my paranoia.

I'm trying not to project my fear of choking onto Aubrey, so I give her finger foods daily. The girl's got to learn how to eat! As much as it would be easier on me to have her drink from a bottle for the rest of her life, I don't think she'd make it very far if she whipped out a bottle of formula during a business meeting...

Buying Pregnancy Tests...Justified Phobia or Just Paranoid?

You would think the pregnancy test walk of shame would only happen to teenage girls or single 20somethings. But for some reason, buying a pregnancy test has always made me more self-conscious than a 12 year old at their first dance.

I have never felt comfortable buying a pregnancy test. Ever. Even as a married woman who was actively trying to have a baby, I felt so secretive carrying my pregnancy test up to the counter. I would usually pick up some other things on the way up the counter to conceal what I was really there to buy. So not only was I spending a fortune on a pregnancy test, I was also racking up the bill with a bunch of crap that I didn't need--like extra kitchen sponges and a bag of Reese’s. Then I would go crazy thinking to myself why I picked up random items like sponges and chocolate...was I nesting?! Was I having cravings?!

Perhaps the reason I always felt so awkward buying pregnancy tests, was because I had always associated pregnancy tests with people taking them in hopes of NOT being pregnant! I always felt like the other customers in the store or the check-out person were looking at me thinking, "Ohhh, she was careless and now she might be pregnant. Shame on her!" And this is the reason why I relate my pregnancy test phobia to a 12 year old at their first dance. It's one of those situations where you swear everyone is looking at you and making judgments, when in reality they weren't even looking at you in the first place!

Thankfully, my mom is a nurse and has informed to never waste money on a pregnancy test again because she has them at work. Hallelujah!

Disclaimer: The content of this post was solely written based on previous experiences occurring prior to April 2009. The author of this post is not currently purchasing pregnancy tests nor trying to have a baby.


"Don't you lie to me, I know I saw you slip a pregnancy test in that cart!"

Where are Your Manners?

A lot of people give kids today a bad rap for manners. Well, let me tell ya--I see bad manners in ADULTS more than children.

Example: Every time I need to get through a door with a stroller.
I can't tell you how many times I approach a door with my huge stroller and the person in front of me completely lets the door close on my face. I have noticed that more KIDS, as in teenagers and younger, hold the door for me than adults! Yes, more eight year olds and fifteen year olds have stopped to help me with the door than their parents. That is sad. Well, I’m glad the kids have manners, but it’s obvious that they most likely learned their manners from school rather than their parents who watch doors close on people’s faces.

I am a bit fired up about this because it happened today when I went to pick up a slice of pizza for lunch. I had to bring the stroller in because I couldn't carry the baby, my wallet/keys, my pizza box, AND my fountain soda (come on, you know I can't go to a pizza shop and not get a fountain soda!). Well, as I was leaving the pizza shop, a woman was coming in. I thought to myself, "Oh good, she will hold the door for me so I can get through without propping the door with my back and pulling the stroller though all awkwardly." I was wrong. She flung the door open and whipped right by me, allowing the door to close on my face. How rude!

Another example- The other day I was leaving Wegmans through the single door exit. I saw a man about to walk in the store. He opened the door. Now, I was waiting at the door with my cart and crying baby, and in order for me to let him walk through first, I would have had to back up about 10 feet in order to get out of the narrow hallway. Manners aside, it just made more sense for me to walk through first. Well once he opened the door, I assumed he was being a gentleman and letting me by. Well, well, well. Who do I think I am? A woman with a cart full of food and a screaming baby? This man ROLLED HIS EYES AT ME for walking out of the door first! Here I was thinking he was being a gentleman, and he was pissed off that I had the audacity to walk through the door with my cart before him (for the record, he had no cart). It was as if he was aggravated because now Wegmans would be out of bananas since he had to wait 5 extras seconds for me to walk through the doors. Seriously?

I sure hope that I raise a daughter that can take 5 seconds (literally) out of her day to hold a door for a lady with a baby. This world will be an awful place to live if we all stop being considerate of one another.

10 Things I'll Do Differently

Recently, somebody posed the following question on a message board online: What will you do differently with your next baby, based on what you've learned from the first?

I thought this was a great question. As I think back to the first few months and the decisions we made, a few things come to mind that I would like to try differently next time around.

1. I'd like to give a better effort at breastfeeding. I definitely would not say that I "gave up" on breastfeeding. However, I think I could have sought out more help when I needed it. The truth of the matter is, I was exhausted and overwhelmed. When the going got tough, the tough got formula. Next time, I would like to educate myself better beforehand so I can give it a better shot.

2. If breastfeeding doesn't work out, I will NOT beat myself up over it for a month like I did with Aubrey. Damn La Leche League!

3. I will start a bedtime routine sooner. Once we finally stuck to a bedtime routine, Aubrey fell into a great schedule. Wish I had done that months ago!

4. I will have dinners prepared and frozen for the first week we are home with the new baby. I wish I had listened to this advice when I was pregnant with Aubrey...we spent a fortune on take-out!

5. This one is delivery related: I will get the epidural RIGHT AWAY instead of trying to tough it out. All that did was waste time--I was in so much pain that I wouldn't dilate. Once I got the epidural and was relaxed, I went from 4cm to the birth in 4 hours.

6. I will not read baby books and treat them like they are the Bible. Every time I ask my pediatrician about "something I read" she yells at me and tells me to stop reading the books!

7. When my mom offers (well, I hope she still offers...) to spend the night to help with the baby, I will say YES instead of feeling guilty and pretending we didn't really need a good night's rest.

8. I will hire someone to clean my house for the first few months. So worth it.

9. With baby #2, I will be much more out and about than I was with Aubrey. I barely left the house with her for the first 6 weeks. In my defense, it was "Swine flu" season and we had a 3 foot blizzard every other week.

10. When I'm pregnant with baby #2, I will have no delusions about what life will be like with another baby. With Aubrey I had visions of baking Christmas cookies while she napped all day. HA. That didn't even come close to happening. I will be much more mentally prepared in knowing that babies turn your world upside down, and nothing is predictable. All I know for sure is that life will get crazier (but better!) and we will have a new baby to fall in love with all over again.

Anyone else out there have something that you'll do differently next time? I'm sure I'm forgetting many, many things :)

Outings with Aubrey

Lately I've been taking Aubrey to places where she can interact with other babies and toddlers. We've gone to a playgroup, the park, a kids' session at the library, the animal farm, a music class at Gymboree (thanks for the suggestion, Corinne!), and Ocean in Motion (it's like a big playroom for kids).

I LOVE going to these places with Aubrey. Not only do we get to play together, but she gets to observe and interact with other little ones (and I get the opportunity to meet and socialize with other moms!). I have to tell you, time goes much faster when you and your baby are out interacting with other moms and babies than it does when you are playing with the same 8 toys over and over again on your family room floor. And most of these places are way more baby friendly than my family room and its many bookshelves and power outlets. As much as I love to give Aubrey the opportunity to "explore" the house, that girl has got to calm down with ripping up my magazines and throwing the dog food across the kitchen floor.

But most importantly, I love going to these places because Aubrey really enjoys playing with the other babies. Well, I guess she doesn't really play with other babies. It's more like they crawl over each other to get to what they want. But she certainly loves watching the "older" kids (you know, the walking ones) run around and play. She can sit and watch a 2 year old play for 15 minutes. I wish I could train her to watch me for 15 minutes at home while I put on my makeup or make lunch (or sleep...)! This is the ONE thing I miss about working--Aubrey getting to play with other kids during the day, and the opportunity to learn from them.

This is just the start of fun outings with my baby girl, and I can't wait for more to come.

The Bond Between Moms

I was waiting in Sears to pick up Aubrey's pics, and there was another new mom waiting behind me. The only person who was working in the portrait studio was busy taking pics, so this other mom and I had some time to talk. Her daughter was 3 months old and sleeping. Aubrey of course, was wide awake and trying to crawl into the photo session that was occuring in the portrait studio.

It's funny how when two new moms meet each other, they feel like they can instantly confide in the other. Like, they know that the other will understand exactly how they feel, and they don't need to sugarcoat or feel badly about feeling overwhelmed. This other mom looked at me after a moment of small talk and said, "Can I tell you something? I am just so happy I survived the first three months. I think I can make it through anything now. I had no idea that a 7 pound baby would require two adults' complete, undivided attention 24/7"

I just nodded my head, and told her I knew exactly how she felt. I told her about how when I was pregnant I thought I would be watching Christmas movies and baking cookies while my newborn napped all day...yeah right!!! Clearly, my delusions of motherhood were quickly proven false.

I could sense during our conversation that she wanted-and needed-some reassurance that things would get easier. Luckily, things have been easier lately so I was able to tell her what she needed to hear-hang in there, your life will begin to feel pretty normal again quite soon! She was relieved to hear that, and then she continued to express her fears about going back to work. Of course, that opened up a whole other can of worms!

It's really important for women to support each other as moms. We all have SO much to offer one another-whether it's a piece of tried and true advice or just a non-judging ear. A lot of moms feel like they are the only ones going through something when in reality, it's something that almost all moms feel or experience. It doesn't matter what your race, religion, age, or wallet size is--we can all relate to each other because we are all moms, and we should be there for each other. That is why blogging is great-we can all share our stories and feel comfort in knowing that we are supported and are not alone. This must be why I keep coming back!

Dare I Say It? Are Things Getting...Easier?

An interesting thing has been happening over the last few weeks. As Aubrey is becoming more independent and her personality is blossoming by the day, things are becoming (dare I say it!)...easier.

Let me list some of the perks that come with this new stage we're in...

-Now that the novelty of crawling has worn off, Aubrey can sit in the same place and entertain herself without crawling off and getting into trouble within 4 seconds. This means when I make a sandwich, I can actually take 3 minutes to eat it without having to chase a runaway baby!

-And while she loves playing with Mommy (actually, it seems like she could care less, but I like to pretend she enjoys it), she really has been quite content to play on her own while I watch The View fold laundry.

- When we go out places, I can put Aubrey in the shopping cart now and she loves it. She loves looking at everything in the store and chatting with the other customers. Another bonus? Now that she's awake for long periods at a time, I don't have to worry about rushing around so we can get home for naptime.

-As Aubrey is getting older, she is enjoying more activities. I can take her to farms, parks, and infant/toddler play places and she actually enjoys them and has fun. No more relying on Target as my sole source of entertainment!

-To add to my ease, she is also finally on a great schedule. So much easier to plan my days when I know when she’ll be awake!

-Big plus: We've nailed the bedtime routine and Aubrey consistently goes to bed at a nice, reasonable time of 7:30. There’s now plenty of time for me and Justin to turn off our brains and recharge (aka watching hours of mindless television).

Yes, things are becoming more routine, more predictable, and more enjoyable. I am loving this stage. I love that she has such a great personality and that she is able to start enjoying the things we do together. There are still days when I want to run for the hills, but overall, I feel like motherhood is finally becoming what I thought it would be when I was pregnant...FUN! I can only hope that she holds off for a couple more months before she starts walking. I still need another month or two to refill my energy (and patience) reserves!

Music to My Ears

Over the last eight months, Aubrey has preferred moving to talking. She's been so busy getting around, that she hasn't spent much time working on her babbling. I've been waiting and waiting to hear her make some distinguishing consonant sounds, and finally the last couple of weeks have brought music to my ears!

Aubrey is now babbling away. Her faves are buh-buh-buh, and when she's angry or upset, she says muh-muh-muuuuuuuuuuuuuuh (she's practicing for when she yells at me in the future). The funny part is how she says the same sound over and over, yet she uses inflection as if she's speaking in sentences. I have to tell you, they are the most beautiful sentences I've ever heard! When we're in the car and I hear her "talking", I turn down the radio and listen to her having her little conversations. Last night I even dreamt that she was talking to me in real sentences.

I am just so excited to hear Aubrey start the beginnings of talking. Partly because it's such a huge milestone, but also because I can't wait to actually hear her little voice and KNOW what she wants and how she is feeling. Now I know all you moms that already have kids are probably thinking, "Once she talks, you'll be wishing she wasn't!" But I don't care. Of all of her milestones so far, nothing has made me smile more than hearing her trying to talk to me :)

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Surprise #136 of Becoming a Mom

Surprise #136 of becoming a mom: Catching up with friends on the phone has to become a planned event.

Unlike the pre-baby days, I can't just pick up the phone and call a friend at my leisure. I usually don't have enough time during her naps to accomplish all of my "To do" list and make a call that's not rushed (you know how long those conversations with a girl friend can go on for!). So when it comes to calling back friends, I usually do it when I am taking a long drive and I know there won't be any interruptions.

Before I go on, let me clarify what I mean by interruptions. By interruptions, I mean events that usually happen when I'm on the phone at home that would require me to get off the phone mid conversation. The normal interruptions would be things like the baby waking up from a nap and needing a bottle, a diaper explosion, or the baby deciding she wants to chew an electrical cord.

Yesterday, Aubrey and I were going to drive up and have lunch with my husband during his lunch break. My husband works an hour away, so I knew I had a good block of time to call back one of my friends, no interruptions.

So once I was on my way,I called my friend and told her I had plenty of time to talk. In my defense, I did warn her that if she heard what sounded like ear screeching music playing in the background, that was Aubrey. Sure enough, as soon as I drove onto the Jersey Turnpike, the music began.

Of course, my friend's initial response was, "Do you want me to let you go?" I explained that there was no reason for me to go unless the crying bothered her. You see, the baby had just been fed, her diaper had just been changed, her Orajel was on, and she had her favorite toys with her. If she was crying, it was because she knew Mommy was 3 feet away and not playing with her. So my response to my friend was, "My only option to get her to stop crying is to pull over on the Turnpike, take her out of carseat, and play with her. And that is not happening."

The truth is, when I am driving and Aubrey is crying it drives me CRAZY. I can't stand hearing her cry and not being able to help her. It breaks my heart and I get super tense and anxious about the situation. Talking with my friend today during Aubrey's episode helped me to stay sane.

And sure enough, as soon as we got to my husband's office and I pulled Aubrey out of her car seat, she was happy as can be, smiling and laughing. I was pretty drained after that car ride, and I was hoping after the long ride and lunch with Daddy that Aubrey would be drained too. While the phone call on the ride up was a nice distraction from the crying, I don't think I could have endured that for the whole ride home as well!

Luckily for me (and Aubrey!), she was passed out within one minute of leaving my husband's office. But just in case, I had my phone ready.

Naptime for Mommy

So I'm a little late on taking the advice, "Sleep when the baby sleeps". I never did this when Aubrey was a newborn. I was too busy and shell shocked to sleep. But now that Aubrey is almost 8 months old, I have learned that napping when she naps is a survival skill on some days.

When I was working, I could never take a nap. If I only got 5 hours of sleep one night, that's all I was going to get. However now that I'm home with Aubrey, I usually take a nap as soon as she goes down in the morning. I feel like such a wimp, but she has really been exhausting me lately with her crawling and climbing! I figure I might as well enjoy this luxury while I only have one baby. I imagine once you have more than one, it's not so convenient (or possible!) to take naps anymore.

On that note, my bed is calling.

The Grass is Always Greener on the Other Side

Having seen both sides of the fence as both a full-time working mom and a stay at home mom, I've learned that there is no happy winner. BOTH types of moms feel guilt, anxiety, and wish for more at times.

After talking with many working moms and stay at home moms, I've noticed that each tends to crave some of the perks that the other one has. It just goes to show you, the grass is always greener on the other side!

Here are some of the most common things that I have heard from other moms and that I have experienced myself, as both a working mom and a stay at home mom.


SAHM (stay at home mom): I wish I had a half- hour drive to work each morning to just drink my coffee and sit in silence.
WM (working mom): I wish I could sit in my pjs at 8am and play with my baby while I have my coffee.

SAHM: I wish I could wear a nice dress and heels once in awhile instead of mom clothes every day.
WM: I wish I could wear sweats to work; I'm too tired to dress this nicely every day!

SAHM: I miss adult conversation.
WM: I miss hearing my baby babble.

SAHM: I would love to do something for ME each day, something that makes me feel like more than just "Mom".
WM: I would love to have more time with my baby each day, something to make me feel more like I'm a "Mom".

SAHM: I wish I had more money to spend.
WM: I wish I had more time to enjoy the money I'm working for.

SAHM: Sometimes the days drag on and on when it's just me and the baby.
WM: My evenings with the baby go way too quickly.

SAHM: There are days when I wish I was working.
WM: There are days when I wish I could be home with my baby.

I'm not saying all SAHMs and WMs feel like this, or that they feel like this all the time. My point is, ALL moms have days when they may wish to be on the other side. Having done both, I can tell you that they are equally hard, just for different reasons.

The hardest parts of being a working mom (for me) were being so incredibly busy after I got home from work and not being able to spend nearly as much time was I wanted to with my baby.

As far as being a stay at home mom, the hardest parts for me are missing the adult interaction everyday and getting to do something each day that was separate from being "Mom".

There is no perfect answer. It's just the way life is--you have to take the good with the bad, no matter what situation you find yourself in. And the fact is, there is no perfect situation. The important thing is that we all are trying our very hardest to be the best moms and women we can be!

You know are settling into the role of Mommy when...

So you've had your baby and you're now a new mom. It often takes awhile to settle into this new role. But after the days, weeks, and months pass, you begin to see some signs that you are in fact, settling into the role of Mommy. Here is my list of just some of things that make me feel like I am indeed settling into this new role.


You know are settling into the role of Mommy when...

1.) You know longer roll your eyes at the woman with the screaming toddler in the grocery store. Instead you fearfully think, "That will be ME in two years!"

2.) You sing your baby's favorite songs while walking down the aisle in a store, and not for a second think that other people may be irritated by this.

3.) You suddenly realize that you eat most of your meals in under 5 minutes, even when the baby is not around. It has become habit to scarf down your food before your presence is needed!

4.) You no longer think, "Hmm, that cell phone might be dirty. Maybe I should take it away from her and give her a 'baby toy'." Instead, you think to yourself, "If she's quiet and happy, I don't care!"

5.) Staying up til 10:30pm is a "late" night.

6.) Instead of wanting to go out on the town when you have a babysitter, you and your husband would prefer just to stay at home, sit on the couch, and do NOTHING!

7.) Your nice outfit is now anything that you wouldn't wear to bed. Unless you ironed it. Ironed sweatpants with a fitted tee definitely counts as a nice outfit.

8.) You wonder how the hell you spent all that free time you had before you had a baby. What on earth did we do with ourselves?!

9.) You spend half your day on the floor playing with blocks and rattles. The other half is spent on the floor chasing around the baby.

10.) Free time is filled with fun activities like doing laundry, emptying the dishwasher, and balancing your checkbook.

11.) You drive the long way home (and sometimes circle the neighborhood a few times) because the baby is finally peacefully sleeping in the car seat.

12.) You get spit on, puked on, pooped on, and peed on and you don't even bat an eye.

13.) Suddenly the cry it out method doesn't seem like child cruelty. It seems necessary!

14.) When other moms dump their unsolicited advice and opinions on you, you've learned to just politely nod your head and say "Uh, huh, okay we'll try that!" and then think to yourself "Not in a 100 years lady!"

15.) You begin to frequent drive thrus to avoid the hassle of taking a baby in and out of the car seat...even if it's just for a coffee or a soda.

I could probably go on forever. Meet me back here in another year. I'm sure I'll have 50 more things to add to the list!

It's All About my Husband on his Birthday!

Today is my husband's 33rd 25th birthday. I dedicate this post to him, because a lot of my blog tends to be about me and Aubrey, when he in fact is a huge part of our lives!

Justin is a strong, loyal, dependable, funny, caring person. I knew all this before I married him. I knew all this before I got pregnant. However, I had NO idea how much love he had in his heart, and what an amazing father he would be. And I'm not just saying that because it's his birthday or because I want people to think he's so great. He really is.

Let me count the ways…

When I am too tired to deal with things, he tells me to go back to bed and that he'll take care of Aubrey. When he comes home from work, he quickly gets changed and then spends the next hour playing with Aubrey, rolling around with her on the floor and playing with her toys. When he notices me getting frustrated about not having anything to wear, he offers to give me money so I can go "guilt free" shopping. After I spend 45 minutes cooking dinner, he is always the first to get up and start cleaning up the mess. And likewise, when I am too darn tired to cook dinner, he quickly says "I'll get a pizza instead." Although, that could be a jab at my cooking...When I need to talk for an hour about everything in the world that is bothering me, he sits and listens. He really listens. I know this because he doesn't "Uh huh" me to death, but he actually tries to give me good advice and solutions to my problems. He laughs at all my jokes. Even the really, really corny ones. He asks me if I'm ready to go when I have no makeup on (my response being, "Are you kidding? I have no makeup on!"), and then he proceeds to tell me that he couldn't even tell that I hadn't done my makeup yet.

Justin is the kind of husband that makes you truly believe that you are the best person in the world. When in fact, I can honestly say he is the best person I have ever met.

Happy Birthday!

Copycat!

I think I know why Aubrey will not play independently in a playpen for a few moments while I make my freshly squeezed lemonade (my attempt at being like Brie Hodge). This girl is suuuch a copycat of Mommy! She must be doing what I'm doing at all times.

If I'm glancing through a magazine or newspaper, she grabs it (and tries to rip out all the pages). If I look up at the tv during a heated debate on the View, she stops and watches til I stop...or until Whoopi is off the screen, for some reason she is mesmerized by Whoopi. I'm thinking of putting a framed picture of Whoopi up over her crib to keep her occupied in the early morning hours. I digress. If I am typing on the computer, she wants to bang the keys til they pop off. If I am drinking a bottle of water, she asks (screams) for the bottle and attempts to drink it.

You get the gist. She totally wants to be like me. No wonder she won't let me leave her side for even just a moment! Sometimes I like to use her copycatting to manipulate her to do what I want. For instance, when I want her to play with her toys (and not the dog's bone, Daddy's flip flops, the curtains, or the lamp cord), I lie on the floor and start playing and then she starts playing. Actually, it's more like I build a tower of blocks and then she violently knocks them down and goes back to what she was doing. But still. My plan to get her to play somewhat works.

Unfortunately, she doesn't copy me at everything. I tried to trick her into sleeping by lying on the floor with her, closing my eyes, and saying, "Night! Night!", but she just stared at me and crawled away. It looks like I'm gonna have to work on that one a bit more.

My Handsome Son

Apparently, I have a baby boy. And he is quite handsome. Every time an old fellow sees Aubrey, he assumes she is a boy. Last night at Wegmans, one older gentleman joked that if "he" was for sale, he will buy him. He then continued with, "Let me tell ya, that is one handsome son you have there!" For some reason, that just cracked me up. I continued to laugh as I was shopping through the produce aisle.

It didn't bother me because Aubrey could have easily been mistaken for a boy yesterday. She had on no bow or headband and she was dressed in a black dress...sitting in the shopping cart, you couldn't tell it was a dress. It looked more like a black tank top. Additionally, Aubrey is pudgy and still pretty bald, so I'm not offended when she gets mistaken for a boy.

However, I will say that after a few customers commented on my handsome son, I dug through the diaper bag, found her yellow headband, and stuck it on her. She didn't resist my putting it on her, which leads me to believe that she too was a little tired of being called a boy :)

Today, it’s pink all the way!

Can someone please pass the wire cutters?

Anyone try to take a baby toy out of its packaging lately? Of course you have, you're all moms. I'm assuming you all know what I'm talking about then. Why on God's good earth do they make it so freaking hard to take a tea cup set for a 7 month old out of its packaging?!

I'm serious. I want to know WHY! There is NOTHING in Target that has more intricate packaging than the baby toys. It's not like a bunch of babies are gonna come crawling through aisle 9, swiping blocks and baby laptops from the shelves. And it's not like baby toys cost a ridiculous amount of money. Why is there a need to not only box the toy, but to have several plastic tie-like reinforcements on the back? The toy we bought today also had the cardboard backing that was then additionally wired to the box. It took me 10 minutes to unwrap two new toys for Aubrey today.

I wish they made it that hard to take a can of Coke out of the box, maybe then I'd be able to kick my caffeine habit!

But seriously, if anyone knows why they make it so difficult to get those little plastic toys out of the box, enlighten me! My best guess is so that they can "display" the toy in its box to lure us all into buying them...

Why do you blog? What do votes mean to you?

I was drying my hair today and I was thinking about why I blog.

The first thing that comes to my mind is that writing to me has ALWAYS been my outlet. I have kept a journal since I was eight and have never stopped. It is scary to think I have all those crazy teenage years documented! If they were “accidentally” lost or tossed in the garbage, I think I would be more relieved than upset. I always journaled because it was a safe place to express and work out my feelings. I also knew that when I had a preteen or teenage daughter one day, I could go back and read them and remember just what it was like to be 15 again. Blogging to me is not a personal journal, but it is another outlet I have to be creative and express my feelings.

However, I think the primary reason I started the blog and why I continue to write it is because I was so surprised by motherhood. I wanted to document my experiences for other new moms out there so they knew they weren't alone. Sometimes I feel incompetent or insecure about being a mom, but when I read other moms’ blogs or go onto the Baby Center chat boards, I feel so much better knowing that everything I am experiencing is completely normal. I blog because I don't want any other new mom feeling like she is alone in her experiences.

So then I started thinking about the Top Mommy Blog votes and why those of us who belong to Top Mommy Blogs want votes. The answer to this question will vary greatly by each individual blogger. A lot of bloggers want to be on that first page because you get inundated with emails for reviews and giveaways. I don't want votes for giveaway and review opportunities, because those are not the reasons why I am blogging. I know some bloggers love that stuff, but it's just not my cup of tea. When I did some reviews and giveaways, it just felt more like "work" than fun. So for me, I just like to stick to the writing and sharing.

Then why do I want votes? To be honest, one of the reasons I like getting votes is because it's similar to that fun little rush you get when one of the items off of your wedding or baby registry gets bought, or when you get an email from EBay saying you were the highest bidder and won your auction. Or like that little surge of excitement when you get a new follower on your blog or facebook page. It's just fun. It's one of those little things that make you smile and say, "Oh! Someone thought my blog was half decent enough to take time out of their busy day and vote for me!

Although, I would have to say that the primary reason I like getting votes is because it gives me a better chance of gaining new readers. Most of my loyal readers follow me on facebook or get updates on my new posts from being a follower (thank you!!), but being on one of the first few pages of Top Mommy Blogs helps me get exposure and I am trying to reach as many moms as possible with my blog.


So thank you to all of my readers who take time from their day to read my blog. I hope you relate to some of my stories and that they help you feel like you are not alone. And thank you to everyone who votes for my blog and contributes to me getting that little surge of excitement when I see a new vote was cast; I love it!

Landscapers and Naptime...lethal combination.

Would it be completely self-centered and selfish of me to contact my condo management company and request that the landscapers NOT cut the grass and use extremely loud blowers (forgive me, I don't know the technical name of the blowers) right at my baby's window during naptime????!!!!

Oh my goodness!! Naptime is precious and sometimes I think they have a conspiracy against me. Like, the landscapers sit in their trucks and have a look out man who says, "Ah ha! She just laid down the baby...drop the hoagies and gatorade and go! go! now! Start the insanely loud lawn cutting equipment and do it RIGHT by the nursery window!"

They've been outside now for 2 hours. I'm about to go outside and bribe them with fresh lemonade to just go away. And go away quick. No one has to know. Just go. The grass looks fine, now GO! My baby needs her rest and her mommy needs to do laundry!

Someone stop the rollercoaster!

Aubrey's crawling and climbing stage has thrown me for a loop. Like a super sized, upside-down roller coaster loop. And I thought the rolling stage was bad! I'm sure when she is walking, crawling and climbing will seem like a breeze. But for now, I am exhausted!

I feel like I have to throw out everything in my house to keep her safe. I guess if I want to be less extreme, I could just buy her a helmet. Do they make baby helmets? Seriously. She is now awake for 3-4 hours at a time and for that whole time she is trying to play with everything that can hurt her--cords on the floor, climbing up the glass door, and crawling under everything that has sharp edges. I would love to put her in a play pen or her jumperoo for some much needed relief, but she doesn't like the confinement of those previously loved places. Thank God she still loves her stroller...if I had to cut out my Target trips and neighborhood strolls I would go nuts!

Oh, this crawling stage is so fun! I have doubled my daily calorie intake just to be able to keep up with this wild woman. When she goes down for her nap, I plop myself on the couch and "AHH...” exhale! I hope I get used to this new pace, because it doesn't seem to be slowing down anytime soon.

Any other moms out there have any suggestions for how you entertain your crazy crawler?!

Thank God she's so cute!



We lowered the crib after we woke up to this a few weeks ago!



Playing dress up

"Dancing with the Stars: Mom Edition"

Step aside Cheryl Burke, there's a new dancer in town. I don't think I've danced as much as I have in the last 7 months since my college days, if you can call what I did back then dancing. I think it was more like a cheap champagne induced attempt at dancing. Thank God people didn't video tape things on their cell phones back then...

But since Aubrey's been born, something that always calms her down is music and dancing. When she is crying and won't calm down, I quickly turn on one of the cable music stations and get moving. A soon as she hears the music, her cries immediately turn to laughs. Hmm, it just occurred to me that she could be laughing at me and my dance moves, but I will give her the benefit of the doubt and say she just enjoys the music and dancing.

Yesterday, we danced to the tunes of Leann Rimes. Personal issues aside (homewrecker!), that girl sure did put out a fun song, a remake of John Anderson's "Swingin" (click here to see the video). Holy crap that is fun to dance to! As Aubrey and I sashayed around the living room, I tried to follow along with the moves in the video-from the dips to the spins to the lifts. And by the end of the video I was about to pass out on the floor. I think that counted as a work out.

Just give me a few more mornings of dancing to uptempo music videos, and I will be on my way to "Dancing with the Stars: Mom Edition".

A Shout Out to the Single Moms

God bless single moms.

I have no idea how they do it. Wednesday night my husband went to a Phillies game and last night he went to Poker. He also has been painting and fixing up our bathroom the last two days (he's on vacation), so his help with the baby has been limited. Over the last two days, I've gotten a tiny taste of what life would be like if I had to do this on my own. Oh, and to make the experience more authentic, Aubrey is teething, AGAIN! This is her third tooth and I swear I think this is more hellish than the first two! So, when you factor in a busy husband and a teething baby, you could say it's been a tough two days. On more than one occasion, the thought has gone through my head of just how single moms do it.

HOW DO THEY DO IT?! After two days of not even being completely on my own, I was starting to wear down. How do they do it day in and day out?

Single moms have to work full time outside of the home to support their baby(ies). They have to cook dinner each night and have no one around to watch the kids so they can do so. They have to get themselves and the kids showered and ready in the morning without any help. If they have school aged children, they also have to manage homework, activities, and sports ALL on their own. If they want to run out to the grocery store or Target for an hour sans kids, they can't just leave them home with the husband. I don't see how they can sneak in any time for themselves, and I'm basing this on my schedule with just one baby! I'd be running around like a chicken with its head cut off, and most likely wearing two different shoes half the time. In addition to this insanely busy schedule they have to manage, the finances are usually tight when it's just mom bringing in a paycheck.

I would lose my mind if I had to do this all on my own. Before I became a mom, I never stopped to think just how hard these women had it. They are truly the strong women of this world. God bless you, single moms!

7 months ago from today, the high was 43 degrees.

A lot has changed in 7 months. 7 months ago, the high temperature for the day in our town was 43 degrees. Today it is 95 degrees. The changes in my life since December 8th, 2009 (Aubrey’s birthday) have been just as drastic as the weather.

Tonight, I was making dinner and Aubrey was on the floor playing with her toys. It amazed me at how quickly she has become independent. Just two months ago, she couldn't do much more than roll around to entertain herself. Now she is not only rolling (come on, that is sooo last March), but she is crawling (with a lot of breaks in between!), sitting up, pulling herself up, it's crazy. Every day she is just getting faster, stronger, and more talkative.

She is also showing her little (or should I say big) personality these days. Aubrey knows what she wants and she goes AFTER it! Whether it's a toy, a remote control, or a hug from Mommy, she makes sure she gets what she wants. I think that's why she is so mobile--sitting around and waiting for things to be given to her is just not an option! Aubrey goes right after what she wants. This leads me to believe that the terrible twos may get quite terrible, but hopefully her independence and determination stay with her throughout her teenage and adult years.

When I see newborns or babies who are a couple of months younger than Aubrey, I just can't believe she was once that small. I try to remember what it was like holding a baby so tiny and still, but it's all a blur. Maybe it's from only sleeping 3 hours a night back then, but all I can imagine is who she is now; my 20 pound weight that tries to squirm off the changing table and crawls under every apparatus in the house.

She's my little sugar. Aubrey makes everything I do now have a true purpose. She makes me want to do better in every area of my life. While I had no idea 7 months ago just how crazy my life was about to get, I also had no idea how much BETTER it was going to be. Or how hot July was gonna get.

Family Vaca Cut Short

We had high hopes for our first mini family vaca this week. We planned to go the shore for three days, figuring that any more time than that would be too much for both us and the baby. Well, unfortunately, three days proved to be too much! If we weren't in the middle of a record breaking heat wave, maybe things would have been different. But 100 degree temps plus sky high humidity are not a good combination for a 7 month old baby and a very pale, sun sensitive mama!

The grimy motel we were staying at didn't offer us much of a reprieve from the hot, humid weather. I think I'd rather be outside baking than sitting on one of those filthy beds! At least I brought a King size blanket for us to put over the bed's comforter. See, sometimes being a germ-a-phobe pays off.

Aubrey was a great sport with the heat and her new place for two days, but she just couldn't get comfortable enough to sleep. She partied til 10pm last night and naps were not really an option. Our visions of having some drinks outside and enjoying the scenery were cut short by her late bed time. Oh, we still had drinks outside, but we were accompanied by our squirmy little princess who kept trying to drink Mommy's Miller Lite.

We ended up leaving a day early, but no love was lost. We got to do everything we wanted--visit the zoo, walk the boardwalk...and well, that's about all you can do with a 7 month old. I think sometimes Justin and I get so excited to do "family" trips and outings, that we forget there isn't much you can actually do with an infant!

We still enjoyed our 2 day "vacation" if you can even call it that. The car ride itself is fun enough for me. I love that time to chat with Justin, sippin on our beverages as Aubrey naps away. Next year should be a bit better since she'll be older, and we have learned our lesson about hotel accommodations...you get what you pay for. Next year, we will definitely opt for something bigger and CLEANER, even if it means putting up a few extra bucks. It will be worth it!

Aubrey sweating bullets at the zoo, but still manages to throw on a smile.



This is what hot, tired, and miserable looks like.



Thank God Mommy remembered to bring this clean blanket for me to lie on!



Our happy family after a looong day!

And Breathe 2,3,4...

Well today was a whirlwind, let me tell ya. Some days go so smoothly with the baby that I can't wait to have a second. Other days (like today) make me scream out, "One is plenty, thank you!" You know it's gonna be a long day when the baby wakes up at 4:45am, bright eyed and bushy tailed, ready to start the day.

Aubrey is at the stage where I cannot take my eyes off of her for one second or she is chewing the dog's bone or banging her head against a table leg. Both of which have happened. More than once. She isn't crawling, but she is "creeping" and doing this weird downward dog thing where she gets on all fours, sticks her butt in the air, and leaps forward. So, today I spent the whole time she was awake with my eyes glued on her, entertaining her to the max. Because you see, she is also at the "Mommy, you better be playing with me at all times!" stage. Additionally, Aubrey has determined that sleep isn't really that necessary. Not only did she wake up at 4:45am today, but she only took two 1 hour naps ...leaving me with very short "breaks" to rush around and try to get everything done from taking a shower to eating lunch.

In an effort to give myself a break from stacking blocks and playing with musical toys all day, I figured we'd go take the car to get washed for the weekend. I planned it so we'd have enough time to get there so she wouldn't be hungry right away, and then I could feed her while we waited. Well, just my luck (sort of like the luck I had earlier in the day when she was screaming for food and the bottle flew out of my hand and spilled everywhere and I had to start all over again...), the car wash temporarily closed for a half hour. So as we drove home (no way am I waiting a half hour because we all know a half hour really means closer to an hour), she got hungry and wailed the whole ride home. Fun, fun, fun!

Today was definitely one of those days that I felt completely content with just having one baby! But then tomorrow will come, and she will sleep normally and everything will go smoothly and I'll be thinking of names for the next little one. Well, I can only hope that's what tomorrow brings...

My Crazy Little Squirmer