Thursday, April 22, 2010

Catch 22

When I got the mail yesterday and received an invitation for a 30th birthday party, I nearly dropped the baby with excitement. A night out! With my husband! Margaritas! High heels! But then my heart sank a little. I remembered that now that I'm working, my time with Aubrey is so minimal. I only spend about a half hour with her in the morning, and at night I'm lucky if she's awake for two hours. Who would've thought that watching a baby in a jumperoo could rival a night of margaritas?

Before I started back at work, I loved the idea of getting a babysitter and going out with Justin, just the two of us. No diaper bags to carry, no trading off a crying baby during dinner, no rushing home for naptime...But now that I'm away from her so much, it's like a Catch 22. On one hand I really want to go out and have fun with my husband. On the other hand, I don't want lose any more time with Aubrey. Ah, yet another mom dilemma :( I know I need to go out and enjoy time with Justin, and we are looking forward to the party. I just never thought about how time away with my husband meant time away from Aubrey.

Everyone says leaving the baby will get easier, and I guess it gets easier because you become used to it. I don't know how I feel about that. I don't think I could ever feel comfortable with only seeing Aubrey awake for 2 1/2 hours a day. If I knew I was going to be working full time forever, I think this would be a lot harder on me. Thankfully there is an end is sight(June 23rd! Have I mentioned that date enough yet?). And when that time comes, I'm sure I'll be begging for my nights out again :)

As always, if you enjoy reading my blog, please vote for me by clicking on the Top Mommy Blogs link on the left. Thanks!

Thankful Thursday

1. Supportive coworkers.
2. Getting showered and dressed up everyday this week for work. Sweatpants are now saved for bed they should be!
3. Seeing all the kids at work again...let's see how much longer the honeymoon phase lasts!
4. Sunny weather for my first day back.
5. Getting to eat a whole lunch everyday with adult chit almost feels like I'm on vacation! Do you think they'd be cool with letting me sip on a margarita during my lunch break?


  1. This sounds like something I could have written myself. I was JUST complaining to my husband that he has all of these "me" activities... Softball twice a week, gym, golf... and I don't have anything. I need a "me" thing. So he told me to think about it and decide what I want to do - and my immediate response was "Well I can't do ANYTHING, because that would mean I have to leave the baby, and I already leave him when I work, and I don't want to do that."

    (Insert frustrated look from my husband here.)

    Part of me wants to go have me-time, or go out with girlfriends, etc... but that other (and right now, that STRONGER) part of me wants to give all my free time to my baby boy. So I think we're going to enroll in mommy-and-me swimming lessons. For now, that will have to do as my me-time. :)

  2. I totally feel where you are coming from Jacqueline. For some reason, it seems like the men always have their "me" things and the women's "me" things include not so fun activities like laundry and grocery shopping!

    But like you said, as much as I want to do fun things on my own, I don't want to lose time with the baby. It seems so easy for my husband to skip off to poker night after being at work all day, I'm just not there yet.